Monday, June 06, 2005

MONTEL'S A CRIMINAL/ SHIVA IS PISSED

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" But maybe you want to leave now, because there's an ancient god here having a truly impressive hissy fit.

The god's name is Shiva. Shiva is raining curses on the United States government, even as we speak. You see, Shiva gave humankind the cannabis plant for use in seeking spiritual enlightenment and the ease of ailments.

Shiva just heard that the United States Supreme Court ruled in favor of the despot Ashcroft and against two poor, sick women who had been using cannabis to ease painful conditions that did not respond to conventional painkilling medication (you know, the kind Rush Limbaugh takes).

Medical marijuana is now illegal in every state in America. That includes the ten states that had passed laws allowing limited use.

This turns fine people like talk show host Montel Williams into criminals. And I certainly hope that sick people everywhere will defy this decision through civil disobedience. Let's see what juries say about sending to jail people with painfully disabling multiple sclerosis. People going blind with painful glaucoma. People puking from chemotherapy. Let's put all these criminals where they belong! Behind bars!

Oh my goodness, I have to go. Shiva is wrecking my porch furniture and foretelling lingering, painful deaths for certain high-ranking members of our government! Calm down, Shiva. Please. See America for what it is: a place of de-evolution, Darwin in reverse, the worst of the gene pool rising to the top and taking control.

Shiva cannot be consoled. Poor god, to give humankind such a nice gift, only to have it wrenched from the hands of those who need it most.

It's not a good idea to piss off these bored gods. If y'all could see what Shiva's done to my flower bed in the space of an eyeblink, you'd know what I mean.
ANNE SEES THIS AS A DARK DAY, AND SHE DOESN'T SMOKE POT

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